It was the night before my daughter’s birthday, I had prepared everything to give my daughter the best birthday this year. I had planned to change my bed covers before sleeping but I ended up dozing off on the couch in the living room. I opened my eyes to see my daughter smiling brightly. I was curious to know why she was so happy so I asked her why and she said “Mom, I have good news for you”… “What is it?” I say and she giggled with reply “You’re going to die…”
The words fell into my ears but I wanted to believe I heard her wrong. Her expressions reveals delight as if she was conveying some glad tidings to me. It was clear what she meant, that I was going to die. I couldn’t think of it as a good news, I was terrified for the moment. She then said “Mom, why are you so shocked? You’ve always wanted to die… You said it several times that you wanted to die. Don’t you mean it?”
Her voice was ringing in my head, I felt speechless. I was sweating heavily then I woke up to reality. I tried to catch my breath realizing that I was dreaming of my late daughter who died two years back. I cancelled my plan for the moment and quickly set an appointment with a fortune teller to know what was going to happen to me. When I reached my location, I met the old man and explained my dream to him. He laughed and then stared deep into my eyes “You’re a good woman so why are you so afraid to die?”
I dropped my gaze and suddenly, tears began to drip down from my face. I wiped a few drops away and tried to control my emotion. “It is your sincerity that is being questioned” the old man spoke again, “You do not speak from your heart”. I listened to his words calmly, trying to reflect on my attitude. I never knew that sincerity was something so important to hold unto. I had never intended to be deceptive towards people but to be honest, I was not always sincere with them too. In fact, it is a bad habit of mine which I never tried to fix. I looked at the old man again and said “So my daughter is trying to save me. I thought I might be dying very soon”.
“You are still going to die soon. It may be in the next ten, twenty, sixty or hundred years but life is still short no matter how long you live. Approach people with a clean heart and sincere mind for that is what your colorful dream says”. I paused and wondered how he knew my dream was colorful. I was too curious to hold back asking a question. “But how? I mean, why do you call it a colorful dream?”
“Oh dear. Dreams that reminds us to fix our lives are colorful dreams. It doesn’t matter if it was grey and scary or bright and comforting. Those dreams are like heavenly messages and only the lucky ones get to receive them. You sure are lucky”. I understood all his explanations and felt a little bit at ease after hearing that. To me, all that mattered was the fact that he considered it a colorful dream so it means I still have a chance to fix my messy life.
I returned home feeling so exhausted. I sat on my bed and reflect back on how I had been doing a lot of wrong things in my life. It never bothered me to hurt someone or to lie because I was hurt too. I was a single and broken woman who thought that life was so unfair when it took away both my husband and daughter and left me suffering in this world. “I had been living the wrong way perhaps that is why the thought of dying scares me a lot. It’s time for me to adjust and do the right thing so that God can forgive me for my past” I finally decided, feeling thankful for having a turning point in my life.
Written By: Karima Shehu